


all the missing words

by sixverba



Series: together, we dance [2]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Blood Moon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 13:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17940890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixverba/pseuds/sixverba
Summary: Look at me, Evelynn wanted to tell her.Look at me and find all the things I wasn't able to say.





	all the missing words

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd, i wrote this over 4 hours when i was super distracted and super tired, more of a character study honestly but i really enjoyed writing it, annnd thank you for reading :^)
> 
> it's recommnended that you finish [cornerstones](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17903681) before reading this, as this may contain spoilers for that fic

“...Evelynn?”  
  
“Yes?”

Akali’s lying in bed, hair loosely tied up, and with a thin canvas covering her tense form. She doesn’t turn around to face Evelynn; instead, she stays there, almost completely still. The only thing that tells Evelynn that she’s not dead is the slow, methodical rise and fall of her shoulders.

“What will I do when you’re gone?”

Her lashers flick sharply behind her - didn’t they go over this multiple times already?

She moves away from her position at the window, pushing herself off of the wooden wall and onto steady feet. Her sandals click against the smudged, lacquered floor. Akali still doesn’t move, even as Evelynn approaches her, even as she sits down and makes the mattress dip significantly. Her hair shifts with the movement, but the rest of her doesn’t even twitch.

“Well,” Evelynn begins, bending down to slip her shoes off. “You’ll spend a few days recovering. Then, you’ll need to feast for a while, but that shouldn’t be _too_ hard considering it’ll be on or near the night of the Blood Moon. Like I told you: it might hurt, at first, but you’ll understand how to separate your scent from theirs very quickly. After that…” She nudges the sandals to the left with the side of her foot. “...haven’t we discuss this? We’ve been planning this for quite some time now; you’re going to —”

“No —” Akali cuts her off, but her voice cracks and she has to pause herself to recover. “— no, I mean, what...what will I _do_ when you’re gone?”

Evelynn’s brows furrow. She turns her head to stare down at Akali who’s still facing away from her, the shadows obscuring whatever skin could be visible to her. “What do you mean?”

There’s no response.

Confused, Evelynn leans forward, trying to catch a glimpse of her face. However, she (finally) moves, curling into herself and burying her face into her pillow. Pursing her lips, Evelynn turns and swings her legs onto the bed. She stretches her arm over Akali’s waist to rest her hand on a spot just before her stomach, her other arm supporting herself at a spot behind Akali’s shoulders.

When she continues to shy away from her, Evelynn starts to crawl over her body and nestle herself in the space between the girl and the wall. She makes sure she’s in a comfortable position before she lies her head down. Then, she turns her head to face Akali. Her face, though, is completely hidden by her pillow; her arms and the blanket rest in front of it, serving as an extra two layers that shield her.

For a moment, she just rests there, watching her, watching how the glow from outside kisses her skin, how the night embraces her with its darkness. She watches how still and how _alive_ she is at the same time, how this calamity rages around her and nothing but a placidity exudes from her core, and Evelynn forgets that she came here with a purpose in mind —

Something catches her eye. “Akali?”

“I —” Akali’s voice falls apart at the seams. “— I-I, _Eve_ , I...I _can’t_ …”

Under the numbing light of the moon, she watches her repose shatter into terrors.

Evelynn absolutely hates this feeling: her chest is tearing itself apart, new holes forming with each tear that Akali sheds, every sob that Akali tries to muffle. The burn from these choked noises light all of her nerves on fire, sharpening her senses and almost making her double over in pain. She nearly cries out, barely stops herself from jerking away from the searing whimpers. The only thing stopping her movements are her limbs, filled with lead. She can’t seem to move at all anymore; all she can do is watch — watch this poor, pitiful, _mortal_ girl slash at her - at her — at her _heart_.

 _Akali,_ she wants to whisper. _Akali, stop — stop your senseless whimpering and stop your pathetic crying, please — stop worrying about all of this. Just look at me: I’m right here. Why can’t you see that? I’m always here — you know that. Look at the mark on your chest, look at the shadows around you, look at_ me _. I made a vow and I’ll repeat it for you — I promise that I’ll always be by your side; I promise that I’ll never leave you._

But how can she break her heart further?

So Evelynn stays quiet. The lips that parted fall shut, and she lets the girl wallow in her insecurities, drown in her sorrows, because Evelynn knows no better way to tell her this than to leave her ears deaf to her voice. Instead, she rests a hand on Akali’s own, her thumb running over bruised, dry knuckles. Every stroke of her finger silences a tear, and every caught tear draws out soft sighs from her battered breaths. All that’s left to disappear are the tremors that wrack her body.

And so, Evelynn waits patiently for her quaking to stop, waits for so long that she wonders if Akali is just cold, before she finally realizes that the source of the shaking is _her_ , not Akali.

“Akali,” Evelynn bites out, voice betraying her needs because she _shouldn't_ be saying anything right now, but she doesn’t know what else to do or say especially when she can't even steel _herself_ right now. “My _xiǎo lóng,_ please —”

 _Look at me,_ she tries to say. _Look at me — look_ into _me. Can you see it? Do you see it? Can you see past my eyes, past my mask, past my shroud — do you see it? Can you read the words that are trapped in there, the words that I want to say?_

With stiff motions, Akali draws a hand down, removes some of the covers, and a puffy emerald eye peeks out.

The other hand slowly, _painfully_ turns around so that she can lace their fingers together. Evelynn doesn’t hesitate to fold her fingers over hers until they’re holding onto each other, their grasp loose but their intent unshaking.

Akali shifts slightly, and Evelynn feels a rigid palm brush against her wrist, a wordless question. She slides her hand over her waist until it rests just below her shoulders, nails scratching against the rough fabric of the blanket. Soon, her hand falls into a steady tempo, rubbing small circles into her back. Her muscles are still tense, almost as if she’s readying herself to leap up and out of the bed, to run into waiting arms outside.

_Some days, I don't know if I possess a heart. With you, though, I know I always wear it on my sleeve, whispering, watching, waiting for you to see it, recognize it, and appreciate me for it. You haven’t noticed it; sometimes, I wonder if I was imaging it all along._

Under the black sweater she wears, Evelynn feels the sharp edges of her back begin to melt into soft curves and indistinct scars. She continues molding her back with delicate touches, until she can no longer feel any bumps or knots. Finally, Akali inches closer, to the point where their legs are tangled each other, their arms wrapped around their bodies, their heartbeats almost in sync with each other’s melody.

One tail hangs off of the side of the bed, swaying from side to side. The other is draped over their interlocked legs, the talon resting at the edge of the mattress.

_I can see it clearly: lines of lavender blue, patches of a scarlet red, glowing in the ebony light; I see it carved out of me, and I see it attached to you. How are you so hopeless? How are you so blind? How do your eyes deceive you like this?_

Akali looks up at her, eyes inquiring.

“But — how do mine create such an enticing fantasy?”

Neither of them speak for a while. They stay in a subdued silence, alone at last with nothing lingering over their heads, nothing hiding in the background. Eventually, though, Akali shifts in her hold; she pushes herself upwards so that they look at each other at the same height, limbs still laced together. Their hands are still joined together, resting under their chins.

Evelynn raises her free hand to wipe away at the streaks on her face that began to be illuminated by the moonlight. Akali leans into the touch, stilling the carresses of her thumb.

“I’ve seen it,” Akali whispers. Her own free hand rises as well, pushing away loose strands of hair that cover Evelynn’s eyes. “The way you look at me — I thought it was obvious. I thought I didn’t have to tell you; I thought you already knew.” Her eyes are warm, but they’re hollow, and she almost loses herself in them trying to understand why they look that way at her.

Evelynn’s hand leans back and Akali chases forward for it. It elicits a smile out of her, with no sharp corners and no biting remarks — just a curve of its corners, with a gentleness that both of them rarely ever see these days. It causes her to rub away at the marks, the lines, the creases of Akali’s face with her thumb, begs her to savour this moment just for a little longer, even if she might not have much time left —

“Look at me,” Evelynn says, and she sees that wave of confusion dance in her eyes.

“ _Look_ at me,” she repeats herself, her eyes starting to light themselves with a little spark. “Look at me, look into me, look to me — just _look_ at me.”

_Look, where the shadows meet the dusk’s luminance; look, where the crimson blood joins your ivory skin._

Akali’s eyelids begin to droop, ever so slightly. Evelynn notices this and runs her nail across the part just above her cheek, over the blood-soaked skin under her eye. The world grows hazier with each little stroke, a shroud settling over her mind.

 _Look, under your neck and chin, around your ankles and around your waist; look, under your eyes, forever hidden from view_ — _l_ _ook, at what I desire._

Her ears tune themselves to a simple melody, with a steady tempo and an airy harmony. Her fingers are still clasped around Evelynn’s, still resting in her hair; they snap no audible song and tune, but instead dance to a different sort of beat.

_Look, how my heart yearns for the intangible; look, how you lose yourself so effortlessly in me._

The world pulls at her, but Evelynn pulls harder.

“Look, how the earth turns for both of us — look, at how I fall for you.”

Her eyes flutter shut, heavy with the light of those words.

* * *

Akali opens her eyes to look down, and finds battered and bloodied fingers, a chipped mask before her, the edges of her hands where paint begins to peel —

— and cries, shouts, _curses_ the demon’s name through clenched teeth as a howling hunger overtakes her.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about any mistakes that are present in the fic - i looked over it twice to the best of my abilities - but hopefully any errors that are still present aren't too impactful on the clarity of the story.  
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sxvrba) for more k/da and league shit!


End file.
